in moving through your life, you find yourself lost, go back to the last place where you knew who you were, and what you were doing, and start from there.
- bernice johnson reagon
Monday, May 9, 2011
a favorite article.
An article by Rosemarie Urquico:
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
about me.
my [soundtrack]:
“rambling man” by laura marling
“everywhere i go” by lissie
“after the storm” by mumford & sons
“the cave” by mumford & sons
“wash away” by joe purdy
“failure (laura marling cover)” by lissie
“jolene” by ray lamontagne
“i found a reason” by cat power.
i don’t like limiting myself, what can i say.
my favorites change with each stage of my life, but these are the all-encompassing favorites for where i am in life right now. ask me in a year and i’m certain they’ll be different. i also like anything i can dance/shake my booty to.
my [script]: love actually, shrek, the notebook, the breakfast club, zombieland, pretty woman, inception, shutter island, remember me.
i love things will really sad endings and things with really hopeful endings. nothing in between. i also love “bad endings.” i also find that i love movies for their soundtracks, like shrek.
my [rough draft]: a little random book called “dixie storms.” blue like jazz by donald miller. “redeeming love” by francine rivers. “captivating” by john and stasi eldredge. “passion & purity” by elisabeth eliot. “the river king” by alice hoffman.
problem is, these are essentially the only books i’ve finished recently. everything else i’m only halfway done with. (wicked, catcher in the rye, many things have happened since he died, ragamuffin gospel, etc) i have a long list of books i WANT to read though. i like magazines a lot, because they’re shorter and less demanding (mental_floss and scientific american mind)
my [shade]: i don’t have much of a favorite. i love them all on different days. but i do love to wear wine colors.
my [inspiration]: having the joy & peace that comes with knowing Jesus.
words to [live] by: “there will come a time you’ll see with no more tears, and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears; get over your hill and see what you find there with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.” - mumford & sons
“decide you want it more than you are afraid of it.” - bill cosby.
“i have learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”- maya angelou
“inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. when a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.”- ed hird.
i [love]: hot temperatures by choice. in other words, i like to make my environment warm to sleep, but i and humidity do not get along well. the smell of paper. people playing with my hair. interesting facts. interesting people. things that make me cry. listening. talking. helping. wondering at things. life. the people in it. when people trust me. when people trust me enough to cry around me. writing. reading. hiking. pictures of the sky. inspiration. funny things. dresses. convenient things. driving. having a nice booty. feeling beautiful. painting my nails.
i [hate]: narrow-mindedness, intolerance, any kind of schoolwork that doesn’t have to do with the liberal arts, helplessness, not being in control, not being able to fix things.
my [purpose]: to know God.
i [believe] in: love in every dimension.
my [influence]: my mother, and the women i consider second mothers.
my [escape]: driving anywhere. preferably with windows down.
my [origins]: scottish by descent.
my [fondest] memory: when i cried when i was little, my dad would take me upstairs to my room and rock me and sing “jesus loves me” until i fell asleep.
my biggest [challenge]: getting over my pride about certain things. taming my tongue.
i wish to [meet]: i don’t have a huge desire to meet anyone famous, except maybe cs lewis or donald miller. outside of that, i am just ready to meet the people that will fill the rest of my life. new friends, boyfriends, family members, husband, and more friends.
my [proudest] moment: anytime someone ever complimented my blog.
i want to [be]: an inspiration.
my [wildest] dream: to double major in psychology and english and minor in anthropolgy in order to study the psychology of indigenous tribes in third world countries and write about it for a psychology journal. (i would get to travel, study people, and write all in one)
my childhood [ambition]: to be a veterinarian, just like everyone else. little did i know i had a way bigger plan.
my most [embarrassing] moment: i tend to embarrass myself all the time when i meet new people. i like to make myself look stupid so the person feels comfortable around me. i would rather be embarrassed than them feel nervous around me.
my [pet peeves]: i hate being interrupted. other than that, i can put up with a lot.
my [guilty] pleasure: listening to mainstream music and dancing to it. all. the. time. (see also: “forever” by chris brown. and “raise your glass” by p!nk)
my [location]: my bed. sitting on blankets.
my last [purchase]: pizza at saza’s.
my [site]: youre on it.
my [surprise]: i read a book called “i kissed dating goodbye” once and originally lived by every word. now i look back on it and think it was applicable when i was in middle school, but application stopped there. if i hadn’t dated, i would be so spiritually deprived. my love life is strangely connected to my spiritual life.
i [like] that: tumblr does so much.
i [am]: hope.
“rambling man” by laura marling
“everywhere i go” by lissie
“after the storm” by mumford & sons
“the cave” by mumford & sons
“wash away” by joe purdy
“failure (laura marling cover)” by lissie
“jolene” by ray lamontagne
“i found a reason” by cat power.
i don’t like limiting myself, what can i say.
my favorites change with each stage of my life, but these are the all-encompassing favorites for where i am in life right now. ask me in a year and i’m certain they’ll be different. i also like anything i can dance/shake my booty to.
my [script]: love actually, shrek, the notebook, the breakfast club, zombieland, pretty woman, inception, shutter island, remember me.
i love things will really sad endings and things with really hopeful endings. nothing in between. i also love “bad endings.” i also find that i love movies for their soundtracks, like shrek.
my [rough draft]: a little random book called “dixie storms.” blue like jazz by donald miller. “redeeming love” by francine rivers. “captivating” by john and stasi eldredge. “passion & purity” by elisabeth eliot. “the river king” by alice hoffman.
problem is, these are essentially the only books i’ve finished recently. everything else i’m only halfway done with. (wicked, catcher in the rye, many things have happened since he died, ragamuffin gospel, etc) i have a long list of books i WANT to read though. i like magazines a lot, because they’re shorter and less demanding (mental_floss and scientific american mind)
my [shade]: i don’t have much of a favorite. i love them all on different days. but i do love to wear wine colors.
my [inspiration]: having the joy & peace that comes with knowing Jesus.
words to [live] by: “there will come a time you’ll see with no more tears, and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears; get over your hill and see what you find there with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.” - mumford & sons
“decide you want it more than you are afraid of it.” - bill cosby.
“i have learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”- maya angelou
“inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. when a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.”- ed hird.
i [love]: hot temperatures by choice. in other words, i like to make my environment warm to sleep, but i and humidity do not get along well. the smell of paper. people playing with my hair. interesting facts. interesting people. things that make me cry. listening. talking. helping. wondering at things. life. the people in it. when people trust me. when people trust me enough to cry around me. writing. reading. hiking. pictures of the sky. inspiration. funny things. dresses. convenient things. driving. having a nice booty. feeling beautiful. painting my nails.
i [hate]: narrow-mindedness, intolerance, any kind of schoolwork that doesn’t have to do with the liberal arts, helplessness, not being in control, not being able to fix things.
my [purpose]: to know God.
i [believe] in: love in every dimension.
my [influence]: my mother, and the women i consider second mothers.
my [escape]: driving anywhere. preferably with windows down.
my [origins]: scottish by descent.
my [fondest] memory: when i cried when i was little, my dad would take me upstairs to my room and rock me and sing “jesus loves me” until i fell asleep.
my biggest [challenge]: getting over my pride about certain things. taming my tongue.
i wish to [meet]: i don’t have a huge desire to meet anyone famous, except maybe cs lewis or donald miller. outside of that, i am just ready to meet the people that will fill the rest of my life. new friends, boyfriends, family members, husband, and more friends.
my [proudest] moment: anytime someone ever complimented my blog.
i want to [be]: an inspiration.
my [wildest] dream: to double major in psychology and english and minor in anthropolgy in order to study the psychology of indigenous tribes in third world countries and write about it for a psychology journal. (i would get to travel, study people, and write all in one)
my childhood [ambition]: to be a veterinarian, just like everyone else. little did i know i had a way bigger plan.
my most [embarrassing] moment: i tend to embarrass myself all the time when i meet new people. i like to make myself look stupid so the person feels comfortable around me. i would rather be embarrassed than them feel nervous around me.
my [pet peeves]: i hate being interrupted. other than that, i can put up with a lot.
my [guilty] pleasure: listening to mainstream music and dancing to it. all. the. time. (see also: “forever” by chris brown. and “raise your glass” by p!nk)
my [location]: my bed. sitting on blankets.
my last [purchase]: pizza at saza’s.
my [site]: youre on it.
my [surprise]: i read a book called “i kissed dating goodbye” once and originally lived by every word. now i look back on it and think it was applicable when i was in middle school, but application stopped there. if i hadn’t dated, i would be so spiritually deprived. my love life is strangely connected to my spiritual life.
i [like] that: tumblr does so much.
i [am]: hope.
favorite poem (one of them)
“here is my heart; it’s clean.
i give it, lord, to thee.”
and then i saw god plainly
turn aside from me.
“i do not want your heart,
closed tightly to other men.
open it up, my child,
and return it to me again.”
-raymond kresensky.
i give it, lord, to thee.”
and then i saw god plainly
turn aside from me.
“i do not want your heart,
closed tightly to other men.
open it up, my child,
and return it to me again.”
-raymond kresensky.
home
a few days ago, a woman that disciples me told me that she and her husband’s prayer for me had been that i would find somewhere where i could be myself, love myself, flourish, and share my story. she told me this as i told her about my new church home with an inexpressible joy. i had just left the church and was driving to go take some leftover food downtown and decided to give her a ring. she goes to my old church, and it has been hard not seeing her as much. but when she told me that that had been their prayer, it ignited two very important things in me. first, i was so blessed to hear they had been praying for me for those things, because those were the things i couldn’t think to pray for myself. i just wasnt happy at all where i was anymore. i was very disillusioned, hurt, and uncomfortable for a lot of reasons that no longer matter, but it was so nice to hear that they cared so much that they knew to pray that. the second, most important thing i thought of was how faithful God was to answer that prayer. he answered it to the fullest honestly. that group of people is more kindhearted and sincere than any other group i’ve ever met.
let me tell you a story. last night, i was getting ready to go to church, and i was all ready to go— tanning lotion in hand, as i was going to stop on the way to tan— when i turned around and realized i had locked my keys in my car. it didn’t take me too long to realize i wasn’t going to be on time to church, if i even made it there at all. so i called my youth leader, and she said that they would be there awhile if i got done in time. about 30 minutes later, i finally got my keys (after a very angry conversation with God and lots of kicking brick walls), so i headed out to the church. i walked in and breathed in the familiar smell of requited love. i was greeted with squeals and smiles from my girlfriends and a joke and an eager hug from my pretend husband garrett. that really made me happy. hugs make me happy. touch in general does. i laughed and laughed and laughed, and all i could do was sit and soak it all in. the closeness of us all, how amazing it all was. how much it had all changed in a matter of days. it was amazing, really. things don’t always stay like this, you know, and i want to soak it up as much as i can. i only have a few more months left at home and then i’m off to auburn. i wonder every now and then why God waited so long to send me to this place— this place where i finally feel free to be me— and i remember how different things were just a few short months ago. i would have written off the group as “not spiritual enough” for me, or maybe i would have said it was simply “just too small” for me. whatever might’ve happened, i am home. this is my home, and i love it.
let me tell you a story. last night, i was getting ready to go to church, and i was all ready to go— tanning lotion in hand, as i was going to stop on the way to tan— when i turned around and realized i had locked my keys in my car. it didn’t take me too long to realize i wasn’t going to be on time to church, if i even made it there at all. so i called my youth leader, and she said that they would be there awhile if i got done in time. about 30 minutes later, i finally got my keys (after a very angry conversation with God and lots of kicking brick walls), so i headed out to the church. i walked in and breathed in the familiar smell of requited love. i was greeted with squeals and smiles from my girlfriends and a joke and an eager hug from my pretend husband garrett. that really made me happy. hugs make me happy. touch in general does. i laughed and laughed and laughed, and all i could do was sit and soak it all in. the closeness of us all, how amazing it all was. how much it had all changed in a matter of days. it was amazing, really. things don’t always stay like this, you know, and i want to soak it up as much as i can. i only have a few more months left at home and then i’m off to auburn. i wonder every now and then why God waited so long to send me to this place— this place where i finally feel free to be me— and i remember how different things were just a few short months ago. i would have written off the group as “not spiritual enough” for me, or maybe i would have said it was simply “just too small” for me. whatever might’ve happened, i am home. this is my home, and i love it.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
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